Unconditional Self-Acceptance as the Path to Happiness and Success

Judith A. Swack • January 8, 2024

Teresa started a business when she was 40 years old. She developed a new product that sold well over time and she and her customers were happy with it.

But when Teresa turned 50, she became unaccountably anxious and started having trouble sleeping. She came to me for HBLU therapy, and we discovered that the shock of turning 60 resulted in an inner dialog that said, “You are so old that you are running out of time to get your product out into the world as much as you had hoped. At this rate, you will die and all your hard work will be lost. What a shame that your contribution will not last after you are gone. You are a stupid, incompetent failure.”

I pointed out to Teresa that she was overly identified with her business and had lost perspective about her life as a whole. She had good health, a loving marriage, healthy successful children, and a successful business. Nobody looking at her from the outside would consider her a failure in any way, and she was putting unnecessary pressure on herself by making up an artificial standard of success. I suggested that Teresa float her soul out of her body, high above her life (somewhere between the stratosphere and the orbit of the moon) and look down upon her entire life span to realize that she was more than her work.

I explained to Teresa that in the three-dimensional embodied form, we are complex beings composed of a conscious mind, an unconscious mind, a body, an ego structure, and a soul. We all create an internal map of the world that is unique to each individual which we confuse with reality. Furthermore, we believe what we feel, even if we know it’s not true, and feelings run behavior.

At the highest spiritual level, and in the grand scheme of things, our souls are made of God-Source-creation energy, and we are capable of creating the reality and life we desire, In the embodied state we are consciously unaware that we are living in a map of illusions and misidentify our true selves with our feelings, behaviors, and experiences. In order to create the lives we want, we need to achieve a level of awareness of ourselves outside of the map.

It is in this state of higher consciousness and grace where we experience unconditional self-acceptance. There is no judgement or self-criticism because there are no ‘have-to’s.”

As Teresa floated above her life, she felt a sense of inner peace and was able to see that in the past when she set her mind to a long-term goal, she was eventually able to accomplish it even if events didn’t necessarily follow a linear path. She noticed that despite the zigs and zags she used her creativity and ability to learn from her experiences to eventually figure out a solution, and it was this path of growth and evolution that kept her engaged in life. Looking to the future, she realized that by continuing to use that strategy she would eventually succeed in bringing her business to the next level, and whatever happened it would be an interesting ride.

If you or anyone you know would like to expand your ability to accept yourself and others, HBLU methodology can help you. If you would like to silence that inner critic, we recommend you start by listening to our presentation, “Exchange Your Inner Critic for Compassion"

To learn more or schedule an appointment, please call 781-444-6940, or email [email protected]

Blessings, Judith

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Nothing Is Impossible.

James ’s brother, Samuel , sustained severe traumatic brain injury from a car accident. He spent the year going to many doctors for treatment, but could barely function. Samuel complained that not only did standard medical care not help him, but the doctors ignored and mistreated him. Whenever James suggested any complementary therapies, such as acupuncture, chiropractic, or HBLU, Samuel immediately came up with excuses as to why going for that kind of treatment was impossible. (Notice that he didn’t claim that that kind of treatment wouldn’t work. He just made it impossible to get there.) James said, “Even though I feel really guilty about it, I’ve stopped trying to help him because he makes everything impossible.” Monica ’s 25-year-old son, Ed , suffers from such severe debilitating Crohn’s disease that he couldn’t finish high school, can’t work, can’t leave the house, and can barely leave his room. Traditional medical care and medication is not helping. Monica and her husband bought him a dog thinking that would cheer him up, but Ed does not interact with it. Monica has suggested and made appointments for many complementary therapies such as nutrition, naturopathy, family therapy, and HBLU, but Ed refuses to go to these appointments. Monica experiences guilt and deep sorrow that her son is so ill, and she and her husband haven’t been able to help him. Valerie ’s partner, Nancy , is 200 pounds overweight, suffers from ADD and severe anxiety, and hates her job. Nancy had been on medication for the ADD and anxiety, but when her psychiatrist retired, never attempted to find another provider and let her medication lapse. When Valerie suggested that Nancy find new doctors and get back on medication to help her mental function and treatment for overweight, Nancy refused to make any follow-up phone calls or emails. Although they had gotten engaged in the Spring, by Fall, Valerie had asked for the ring back. Valerie said, “I don’t think I can live with her if she refuses to take care of herself and won’t let me help her.” What do James, Monica, and Valerie all have in common? They feel deep sorrow, guilt, and frustration that they can’t help someone they care about deeply. But the people who are suffering are also trapped in a pattern that continues to cause them suffering. Both the impotent helpers and the perpetual sufferers are trapped in a seducer strategy called, “I’m impossible.” What is a Seduction Pattern? Seduction patterns are some of the most energy draining, perverse, and frustrating patterns a person can experience. People with seduction patterns get tricked into doing things they don’t want to do. They are unable to leave bad relationships, jobs, family, or other upsetting situations.

A woman is sitting on a couch talking to a psychologist.

November's Miracle

By S.C. LICSW • November 20, 2024

It’s that time again, where I get to shout out another amazing woman. Dr. Judith Swack has changed my life! In fact she has changed our family’s life. I found her in summer of 2023 . There was so much unhealed shit and my body was paying for it. I am 46 years old, and I have been in therapy on and off since I was 13. I’ve had some lovely therapists. I’m also a therapist myself. And I can honestly, wholeheartedly say, NOTHING has ever helped with lasting changes as much as Judith. She’s one of the smartest women I’ve ever met - she’s a neuroscientist + an energy healer. And the work she does - what we do in session - cannot even really explain it. It’s weird as f*ck. And it works!! In the past little over a year, I have managed to change a couple of behaviors I have not been able to change in 20 years. no exaggeration, and not for lack of trying. One of my 11 year old sons was paralyzed by fear of spiders - had a phobia, happened to be with me one day when I had an appointment and was going to wait in the waiting room, she said he could come in even though she doesn’t work with kids. I kid you not, she fixed that sh*t. In one session. He still doesn’t like spiders, but he isn’t frozen in fear anymore - he can get a tissue and pick it up and move on. This is unbelievable. And remember last week when I Saturday spotlighted my financial coach and how my husband’s feeling lonely in that part of our marriage is now getting resolved? Well, before I reached out to my financial coach to begin with, my husband and I had a joint session with Dr. Swack, where she helped heal a piece of our relationship which we’ve been stuck, going in circles for years! That clearing gave me the energy and thought to reach out for financial coaching to begin with… And if you need any convincing that this is the person for healing from trauma, I invite you to reach out and speak with my husband himself…. I % believe in all this energy healing etc, but he is a very logical, rational, no bullshit guy. He doesn’t do therapy. Talk therapy never worked for him, and he thinks it’s a complete waste. And I couldn’t explain this to him - how this is different or what it is. Nor did I try. I didn’t even ever suggest he should go… But when he saw our son get cured of the arachnophobia, and our son is very similar to him, no bullshit, rational, logical, and he said it worked, and we saw it worked he decided to try it… He decided to give it sessions… I think to prove to both of us it was all bullshit. He came home from the first session livid. But decided he would go back. He also came back from the second session angry, and told me all about how he yelled at Dr. Swack and told her it was bullshit… AND how she didn’t give a f*ck what he thought …”it doesn’t matter if you believe it or think it’s bullshit, I’m not talking to your rational mind, I’m talking to your subconscious” she’s told him numerous times… And suffice to say, he’s been about 9x now, and he too, is operating fundamentally differently. Our marriage is operating fundamentally differently. Traumas and patterns we have both carried and acted upon for years seem to be being dissolved. It’s really wild. If you are seeking a trauma healer or healing for anything, I can’t recommend Dr. Swack higher. I once asked Dr. Swack how to explain what she does to people, and she said “tell them I work with your subconscious”. I don’t think that really explains it fully… or maybe it does… either way it’s amazing. S.C. LICSW

The Relationship Readiness Stages

By Judith A. Swack, Ph.D. • April 8, 2024

One of my favorite projects is getting people happily married. To do that I did quite a bit of original research and discovered that just as there are psychological child development stages, there are 3 psychological relationship readiness stages.