Forgive Yourself; Heal the Inner Critic

Judith A. Swack Ph.D. • November 29, 2023

Nobody likes to make mistakes, but many people have difficulty forgiving themselves when they do. They are hypercritical of themselves, and (although they try hard not to be) with others. They compulsively magnify and criticize real and imagined flaws. Although several patterns cause compulsive self-criticism, the most common one people suffer from is a seducer strategy, “I am critical and I withhold my voice until I can’t stand it anymore and then I tell people what they are doing wrong. People with this pattern (I estimate about 60% of the population) use it on everyone they meet and on themselves inside. They swear at and say hurtful things to themselves for any minor provocation, and alienate others with their self-righteous attitude.

Ultimately, life is about learning and growing. Making mistakes is just one way to do that. Being hypercritical is counterproductive, and makes any upsetting situation just that much more painful. For people with a hypercritical voice, self acceptance is a real challenge. As a mission of mercy, I have provided the intervention for clearing this problem below.

What is a Seducer Strategy?
Seduction patterns are some of the most energy draining, perverse, and frustrating patterns a person can experience. People with seduction patterns get tricked into doing things they don’t want to do. They are unable to leave bad relationships, jobs, family, or other upsetting situations.

Seduction patterns arise from a trauma that causes them to feel dead or empty inside. The dead part does not want to be dead or empty, but it does not know how to bring itself back to life (it doesn’t know meridian tapping techniques.) It believes that the only way it can come back to life is if somebody outside of itself gives it what it needs to come back to life. We call these life and death requirements critical elements and they come in the form of gifts or benefits.

In a seducee pattern, the person being seduced (seducee) attempts to get what he/she needs by accepting gifts/benefits or the promise of gifts/benefits from the seducer. The seducee pays for what he/she gets by allowing the seducer to drain him/her of positive qualities like energy, joy, and compassion. In a seducer strategy, the person doing the seducing (seducer) tries to get what he/she needs by offering to provide the gifts/benefits (i.e. bribing) or by threatening or doing other manipulative behaviors. In effect, the promise from both seducer and seducee is, "I’ll bring you to life with what I’m offering."

Sadly, it is not really possible for someone outside of you to completely bring you to life. The most that anyone gets in a seduction pattern is a small amount of what the dead part needs, and it is insufficient, perverted, and unsatisfying. Both parties are hooked on the crumb of what they have gotten and the hope of more to come. Neither side can let go because the dead part is afraid that if it gives up what little it is getting it will go back to being completely dead which is unacceptable. You can usually tell if you’re seducing or someone is seducing you if you feel frustrated and drained after interacting with that person!

How Do You Free Yourself of a Seduction Pattern?
The only way to free yourself of a seduction pattern is to give back and refuse to take (now or in the future) the gifts that you are tempted by, but the dead part can’t let go for fear that if it gives up what little it is getting it will go back to being completely dead. To clear seduction patterns, we use a prayer intervention in which you:

Renounce the gifts you’re trying to get (while feeling desperate not to), Ask God/Divine Source (a source that can actually deliver) to free you from the seduction pattern, heal the dead part, and provide what you need.

The intervention works instantly regardless of attitudes toward or belief in God.

Silencing the Inner Critic

Write out the seducer strategy “I am critical and I withhold my voice until I can’t stand it anymore and then I tell people what they are doing wrong” and list what you are trying to get by doing that (the critical elements), i.e. be right, and get love, appreciation, acceptance, etc.”

Locate in your body where you feel desperate for these benefits.

Say the prayer, "I renounce this strategy______: “I am critical and I withhold my voice until I can’t stand it anymore and then I tell people what they are doing wrong in order to be right, and get love, appreciation, acceptance, etc.” and I pray God to free me from everyone I do this with and I pray God to heal all parts of myself. I pray God to free me from this seduction pattern, and I pray God to free me from this whole pattern and everything that made me susceptible to it. I pray God to heal me of all the damage I’ve ever done and all the stress I’ve ever caused myself and others while under the influence of this pattern and erase it so completely it’s as if it never happened. I pray God to provide me with whatever else I need in the benefits areas.”

Now that you’ve said the prayer, try criticizing yourself. Notice that this amazingly simple forgiveness exercise instantly quiets the inner critic, a major step toward self-acceptance, compassion, and inner peace. Since you are no longer desperate for the promised benefits, know that you’ll be able to figure out how to get what you need in a straightforward way. Use this prayer on any other seducer strategy that you may be running. For help clearing this and other seducer strategies, order our CD “Exchange Your Inner Critic for Compassion, take a community education course, or call 781-444-6940 to book an appointment.

What is HBLU ™ ?
HBLU ™is an innovative, rapid, and powerful new mind/body/spirit healing methodology developed by Judith A. Swack, Ph.D., a Biochemist/Immunologist, Master NLP Practitioner, Mind/Body Healer, and leader in the field of Energy Psychology. HBLUTM integrates biomedical science, psychology, hypnosis, Neuro Linguistic Programming, applied kinesiology, and other energy psychology techniques with original research on the structure of complex damage patterns. HBLUTM is so effective because:

The client’s deepest wisdom guides the healing,
It has menus of well characterized patterns and effective healing techniques,
It clears blocks to success at the conscious, unconscious, body, and soul levels.

HBLU ™ helps people rapidly achieve the results they want to live full, happy, healthy, and satisfying lives. Maybe it can help you, too.Dr. Swack and her associates work with people in person or by phone. Healing from the Body Level Up ™, Inc. is located in Needham, MA. Call 781-444-6940 to book an appointment, order a free information package, and order audio and videotapes. Visit our website at www.HBLU.org.

Seminar presented at the ACEP conference, 2007

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Nothing Is Impossible.

James ’s brother, Samuel , sustained severe traumatic brain injury from a car accident. He spent the year going to many doctors for treatment, but could barely function. Samuel complained that not only did standard medical care not help him, but the doctors ignored and mistreated him. Whenever James suggested any complementary therapies, such as acupuncture, chiropractic, or HBLU, Samuel immediately came up with excuses as to why going for that kind of treatment was impossible. (Notice that he didn’t claim that that kind of treatment wouldn’t work. He just made it impossible to get there.) James said, “Even though I feel really guilty about it, I’ve stopped trying to help him because he makes everything impossible.” Monica ’s 25-year-old son, Ed , suffers from such severe debilitating Crohn’s disease that he couldn’t finish high school, can’t work, can’t leave the house, and can barely leave his room. Traditional medical care and medication is not helping. Monica and her husband bought him a dog thinking that would cheer him up, but Ed does not interact with it. Monica has suggested and made appointments for many complementary therapies such as nutrition, naturopathy, family therapy, and HBLU, but Ed refuses to go to these appointments. Monica experiences guilt and deep sorrow that her son is so ill, and she and her husband haven’t been able to help him. Valerie ’s partner, Nancy , is 200 pounds overweight, suffers from ADD and severe anxiety, and hates her job. Nancy had been on medication for the ADD and anxiety, but when her psychiatrist retired, never attempted to find another provider and let her medication lapse. When Valerie suggested that Nancy find new doctors and get back on medication to help her mental function and treatment for overweight, Nancy refused to make any follow-up phone calls or emails. Although they had gotten engaged in the Spring, by Fall, Valerie had asked for the ring back. Valerie said, “I don’t think I can live with her if she refuses to take care of herself and won’t let me help her.” What do James, Monica, and Valerie all have in common? They feel deep sorrow, guilt, and frustration that they can’t help someone they care about deeply. But the people who are suffering are also trapped in a pattern that continues to cause them suffering. Both the impotent helpers and the perpetual sufferers are trapped in a seducer strategy called, “I’m impossible.” What is a Seduction Pattern? Seduction patterns are some of the most energy draining, perverse, and frustrating patterns a person can experience. People with seduction patterns get tricked into doing things they don’t want to do. They are unable to leave bad relationships, jobs, family, or other upsetting situations.

A woman is sitting on a couch talking to a psychologist.

November's Miracle

By S.C. LICSW • November 20, 2024

It’s that time again, where I get to shout out another amazing woman. Dr. Judith Swack has changed my life! In fact she has changed our family’s life. I found her in summer of 2023 . There was so much unhealed shit and my body was paying for it. I am 46 years old, and I have been in therapy on and off since I was 13. I’ve had some lovely therapists. I’m also a therapist myself. And I can honestly, wholeheartedly say, NOTHING has ever helped with lasting changes as much as Judith. She’s one of the smartest women I’ve ever met - she’s a neuroscientist + an energy healer. And the work she does - what we do in session - cannot even really explain it. It’s weird as f*ck. And it works!! In the past little over a year, I have managed to change a couple of behaviors I have not been able to change in 20 years. no exaggeration, and not for lack of trying. One of my 11 year old sons was paralyzed by fear of spiders - had a phobia, happened to be with me one day when I had an appointment and was going to wait in the waiting room, she said he could come in even though she doesn’t work with kids. I kid you not, she fixed that sh*t. In one session. He still doesn’t like spiders, but he isn’t frozen in fear anymore - he can get a tissue and pick it up and move on. This is unbelievable. And remember last week when I Saturday spotlighted my financial coach and how my husband’s feeling lonely in that part of our marriage is now getting resolved? Well, before I reached out to my financial coach to begin with, my husband and I had a joint session with Dr. Swack, where she helped heal a piece of our relationship which we’ve been stuck, going in circles for years! That clearing gave me the energy and thought to reach out for financial coaching to begin with… And if you need any convincing that this is the person for healing from trauma, I invite you to reach out and speak with my husband himself…. I % believe in all this energy healing etc, but he is a very logical, rational, no bullshit guy. He doesn’t do therapy. Talk therapy never worked for him, and he thinks it’s a complete waste. And I couldn’t explain this to him - how this is different or what it is. Nor did I try. I didn’t even ever suggest he should go… But when he saw our son get cured of the arachnophobia, and our son is very similar to him, no bullshit, rational, logical, and he said it worked, and we saw it worked he decided to try it… He decided to give it sessions… I think to prove to both of us it was all bullshit. He came home from the first session livid. But decided he would go back. He also came back from the second session angry, and told me all about how he yelled at Dr. Swack and told her it was bullshit… AND how she didn’t give a f*ck what he thought …”it doesn’t matter if you believe it or think it’s bullshit, I’m not talking to your rational mind, I’m talking to your subconscious” she’s told him numerous times… And suffice to say, he’s been about 9x now, and he too, is operating fundamentally differently. Our marriage is operating fundamentally differently. Traumas and patterns we have both carried and acted upon for years seem to be being dissolved. It’s really wild. If you are seeking a trauma healer or healing for anything, I can’t recommend Dr. Swack higher. I once asked Dr. Swack how to explain what she does to people, and she said “tell them I work with your subconscious”. I don’t think that really explains it fully… or maybe it does… either way it’s amazing. S.C. LICSW

The Relationship Readiness Stages

By Judith A. Swack, Ph.D. • April 8, 2024

One of my favorite projects is getting people happily married. To do that I did quite a bit of original research and discovered that just as there are psychological child development stages, there are 3 psychological relationship readiness stages.